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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Terrorists are stupid

Its not because they blindly sacrifice themselves for something as unbelievable as 72 virgins (how are they supposed to find 72 virgins that are aged 16-19 there, unless they're all men?). There's always a better alternative than wasting precious manpower on suicide bombings. That one man could be used for holding a weapon, that could be used to take out a tank or several infantry if he's as determined to give up his life for the cause.

Such a method is, I know that you'd agree with me, not economically sound. Man can be used for many other purposes than just blowing himself up. If he's convinced that he should give up his life for whatever reason there is, why not put him to work 24/7 in a factory or something? Much more productive than strapping an explosive on him and telling him to run into a building.

Because these terrorist groups continue to use this method of violence, I feel that it is my obligation to correct them of their wasteful ways and provide a more reasonable, economical solution. Feel free to donate to my "get enough money to buy an Mp3 player" fund through mail for providing such useful information.

Alright, on to the solution.

Introducing the suicide pigeon! How hard is training a pigeon to fly to a selected location than to brainwash a man from his youth enough to make him forfeit his life? Just strap on the explosives, send the pigeon, and boom! Almost zero cost! What's more, they aren't easily identified let alone shot. Best of all, pigeons DON'T COMPLAIN! Man, I'm a freaking genius.



Flying small targets that are easily reproduced, don't take up space, don't need as much food, and turn into bombs when shot. The possibilities are endless! Hell, you can just spam them anywhere. Add shotguns and bird traps to the list of weapons that have equal importance as the M16 rifle. I own.