Christmas!

Well. It's that time of the year again. The time of the year where people exchange gifts, go shopping, eat out, and get drunk. I don't think this year is going to be any different though, I'm not going to get presents from young ladies, I'm not going to buy anything, and I might not even get to drink.

Ahhh what the heck, the reason I made such an interesting first paragraph was to lull you into a false sense of security. The truth is I DO want something for Christmas this year!

I need a bloody wallet. The one I have is literally coming to pieces. The pockets are torn, the innards and outards are all scratched, and there's a hole big enough for my house key to slip out. Right now this is the one gift that would be perfect for Christmas.

I want an Mp3 player, with earphones. At least twice a week I have to sit in a miserable bus where to one talks to each other and the only sounds which can be heard comes from the bus engine and crappy shows like My Sassy Neighbor on TV mobile. If I have to contend with that mindless bullshit they show 16 hours a day every time I board a bus, I'd make sure that my earwax piles up so much that I won't be able to hear anything.

Why do shows like that even exist? Is it popular? Popular enough that it makes money to keep running? What does this reflect on Singapore? If that spectacle of incompetence caters to our taste, it's no wonder we make movies like "Legend of The Sea". You can tell it's a great movie by looking at the graphics.


We must be so proud to be Singaporean.
Why are sharks molesting a dragon?
Is this all we are capable of?

I personally did not watch the show, because to watch it just to prove that it blows is stupid. I'm also quite sure that watching it would be as pleasant as chewing and swallowing aluminum foil. Heck, I should be a movie director. I already have an idea.

The movie will be named "Doll" translated into Japanese. The plot is about a married man who buys a sex doll at a local Japanese store because he wasn't satisfied with his wife. He takes the life-size model, with a perfect body, into his home alone and does the expected. After the action, the man is completely exhausted, and is half-awake. His wife returns to find a naked woman strangling her husband on the wedding bed. Her husband dies soon after and she rushes out of the house.

Years later, she finds a new husband and days go by as normal. The husband decides to buy a sex doll and she, haunted by the memories, desperately tries to talk her husband out of it, but he wont listen. The doll he buys looks exactly like the one in her memory and continues to haunt her every moment. When her husband is awake, he is perpetually tempted by the doll, which sits harmlessly at a corner. When her husband is asleep, she stays awake by his side, fearful. A head slowly rises from her husbands side of the bed.

This idea has been copyrighted in every aspect as of 23rd of December 2007. Producers who wish to make this movie will ask me personally. Oh yeah so I want an Mp3 player.

Happy Holidays!