Have yourself a good time

The Most Badass Book In The World

2009-01-13T06:46:00.000-08:00

Now, one might say that books themselves aren't badass, Why? Becuase its not like a video where you can see the animated blood and gore and fighting and mindless violence. How can words be made into something badass you ask? Well, here's just one example:

Its a picture of a man PUNCHING A GORILLA IN THE FACE, how much manlier can it get?

However, this is NOT the most badass book in the world, in fact, the most badass book in the world is:

THE HOLY BIBLE. Sex, violence, betrayal, cities burning, people getting eaten by whales, gang wars, death and destruction, all in ONE BOOK! What other book mentions a man who died because he came on the floor? NONE.

Hell, even the very first story was badass. When Adam and Eve didn't listen to God, he was so freaking PISSED that he chased them out with an angel holding a sword, that was ON FIRE. Adam and Eve didn't get any more screwed than the day they tried to take shit to GOD.

And what happened to those two guys who talked bad about Moses, the guy who was closest to God? The ground literally opened from underneath them, and they were swallowed by the EARTH. That's scary shit! The bible kicks so much ass, it doesn't even need a cover picture, all it has to say is "holy bible" and you know it's badass already.

Man, one day I should make my own picture bible...that would be so awesome.

Terrorists are stupid

2008-07-22T01:39:00.000-07:00

Its not because they blindly sacrifice themselves for something as unbelievable as 72 virgins (how are they supposed to find 72 virgins that are aged 16-19 there, unless they're all men?). There's always a better alternative than wasting precious manpower on suicide bombings. That one man could be used for holding a weapon, that could be used to take out a tank or several infantry if he's as determined to give up his life for the cause.

Such a method is, I know that you'd agree with me, not economically sound. Man can be used for many other purposes than just blowing himself up. If he's convinced that he should give up his life for whatever reason there is, why not put him to work 24/7 in a factory or something? Much more productive than strapping an explosive on him and telling him to run into a building.

Because these terrorist groups continue to use this method of violence, I feel that it is my obligation to correct them of their wasteful ways and provide a more reasonable, economical solution. Feel free to donate to my "get enough money to buy an Mp3 player" fund through mail for providing such useful information.

Alright, on to the solution.

Introducing the suicide pigeon! How hard is training a pigeon to fly to a selected location than to brainwash a man from his youth enough to make him forfeit his life? Just strap on the explosives, send the pigeon, and boom! Almost zero cost! What's more, they aren't easily identified let alone shot. Best of all, pigeons DON'T COMPLAIN! Man, I'm a freaking genius.

Flying small targets that are easily reproduced, don't take up space, don't need as much food, and turn into bombs when shot. The possibilities are endless! Hell, you can just spam them anywhere. Add shotguns and bird traps to the list of weapons that have equal importance as the M16 rifle. I own.

The internet is full of dumbasses

2008-06-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

A long while ago, say, November 2007, I posted an article regarding my utter hatred for the Winx club. The post is still there and, sad to say, it has turned out to be the most popular post I've ever made, gathering a record 35 comments. How the hell did this happen? That was just a freaking rant. I didn't put much effort into it. There was no profound English, no display of practical wit and no intention for grabbing the reader's attention. Crap, there are so many other posts that I think were better than this one. I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

Eh, anyway this post isn't about the Winx Club, its about the comments I received. All these comments were from certain "anonymous" people. Despite the horrendous spelling, I continued to read on, intrigued by the fact that so many people have commented. Apparently, all the 35 comments had one thing in common.

If theres one thing I hate more than the Winx Club itself, its the people who continue to support it long after hearing rumors of its well-deserved cancellation. However, I am quite relieved that, after reading all their comments, the only people who actually like this dribble are idiots. The fact that every single comment had terrible spelling convinced me that people have to be that retarded to enjoy watching the show.

Not only was the spelling a complete disaster, the topic of the comment was even worse. They actually thought that I was the maker of Winx Club. I've never in so insulted in my entire life. Nuhh, don't cancel the show...Nuhh, don't give up on the Winx Club... How in the world did this happen? Why are there so many dumbasses lingering around on the internet?

All these incredibly stupid people think that I, Isaac Wong, 16 years of age, studying at St. Patrick's secondary school, am the maker of Winx Club, and that I am going to cancel it because I hate the show, as shown in the post.

Use your brain, you incompetent lot! First off, if the maker of Winx Club was going to cancel it (thus earning my support), why would he/she declare it in a blog, and a very unknown blog at that? I'm not as popular as Xia Xue or Kenny sia, you know.

Secondly, you can see my name right there at the top left corner. It says "the Isaac of Wong" so you don't have to address me as "maker of Winx Club". Furthermore, if you click my profile link, you will discover that I was 15 years old when I wrote that post. Yet, you happily assumed that I was indeed the maker of the very show I so despise.

Thank you for showing me the utter stupidity of a Winx Club fan. At least I can rest in the knowledge that only complete retards like watching this pathetic example of a television programme. At least be able to spell basic English properly before coming into my midst. Sheesh.

June holidays have officially started

2008-06-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

Alright, lets get started. Chinese written O' Level is over (A1 A1 A1), remedials are done, my NCDCC camp, which lasted for three days, has come to a close. Out of these three days, I only had a precious 10 minutes to give commands to the new batch. Far too little in my opinion, I didn't even manage to punish them properly. Heck, I only scolded them once.

The next CCA training would be after the holidays. This is the first time I'm actually starting to look forward to attending. They say I'm a nice guy, so they won't let me handle a squad to myself. Bullshit. I was planning to make them run into a fence to scare the people outside. They want all the fun to themselves.

I swear, the secondary 4s get everything. On the second day of the camp, while the sec 1s were off kayaking and the sec 2s and 3s were on a hike, we got the whole bloody day to ourselves. We could do anything we wanted, and living 5 minutes away from school was very convenient. The night was even better, we got to enjoy making and eating barbecued food. This was not a camp, it was a freaking picnic.

Throughout the camp, there was this one song stuck in my head. I find it fitting to describe what I felt during these three days. Hey, I can be emo enough to use songs too.

Pink Floyd--Time

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Take a while to soak the meaning into your head. It isn't that hard to understand. I have about 3 days left before the church camp. I'm going to try and make the most of these few days even if there is tuition. Tuition sucks.

Screw MSN Messenger

2008-04-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

That's right. Screw the most popular internet communication device, the most user-friendly computer application that allows interaction with people around the world, the program that has spawned countless emoticon and pretty font providing websites. Screw it all, I don't need that shit.

The main and probably only reason I'm saying this is the experience of starting a conversation with someone who is supposedly online and waiting to talk, ending in a long silence, with me clicking the "x" button on the window. I mean, what the hell? Its like talking to a piece of deadwood claiming to be a source of entertainment and company.

So, I've decided. I'm either calling or talking to other people in person, unless I'm talking about doing stuff on the computer or I know that the people I will be talking to will definitely be online. Dammit, with things so uncertain, I'd rather be spending my day playing CABAL. Bah.

So very messy..

2008-04-14T01:44:00.000-07:00

My house is probably the best the place to live in, and yet is also the worst. Its got a nice sofa, comfortable beds, a decent computer, fantastic speakers, and so much music. It has books on almost every topic, a nice television, and it has a wonderful 18th story view.

Looking at this, you'd think: "Wow! he has it all doesn't he? Not too rich, not too poor." Beh. All this serenity is great, but it only needs one thing to mess it all up. The house becomes a place of agony, of indifference, of..annoyance.

I swear, all it takes is one person, one bloody annoying person. The sofa does not comfort, the bed does not give rest, the computer does not distract, the speakers do not drown out the sound. The books do not shut out, the television merely keeps the mind blank, the 18th story view becomes bleak and unclear.

Having to deal with this person is maybe the greatest trial I'm experiencing, she just gets more and more irritating by the day. The mere sound of her voice makes my teeth cringe. I know what it does. It gives me strength, tolerance, a longer temper.

Maybe there's a reason I have to deal with this crap. Maybe I'm going to have to deal with these people later in life. But how can anyone be so dumb and yet so joyously ignorant of her annoying speech? That pride, that pretense of knowledge and understanding. There is only one person like this, and I have to contend with this irrational and disgusting behavior.

She is only a maid, an uneducated, despicable maid, and yet she can continue to throw her stupidity around the house. She cannot learn, she cannot realise her own shortcomings. She is a grievance, and I have to handle her.

Pardon my complaining, there is much to express, and I'm freaking pissed.

I must be kidding myself

2008-04-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, music? Check. Inspiration? Check. Energy? Ahh, not sure. This must be the first time this year I've updated, and although I'd love to think that many people are waiting on me to post this, it might not be true. The reason I'm not updating as much as I am now is aside from dealing with sec 4 business, I had extra curricular activities.

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, I have had to put on a baggy, dirty, supposedly fireproof uniform, which is 3mm thick, for three days, just so I can put on a baggy, dirty, supposedly fireproof uniform today, perform in a parade with spectators reaching a record number of 20, and after that sit in a stuffy, crowded hall for an award-giving ceremony which lasted up to 6.00. The worst part was knowing I had to come back for school tomorrow.

What I was truly thankful for, was that after all that crap, they gave us FOOD! Gah, the puffs, amazing, the cheesecake, orgasmic. Cheesecake should always be viewed with respect and wonder. I mean, how do you put cheese, in a cake? It is a delicate procedure, done with much sweat, tears and blood. Mike Rowe has never worked as a cheesecake maker, and he should be bloody thankful that he hasn't.

Anyway, since I'm already here, knowing that I forgot the original topic, I shall tell you something about my CCA. As some of you know, its called the National Civil Defence Cadet Corps, NCDCC for short. What we do is give first-aid, CPR, and fight fire. Beats NCC and scouts in terms of usefulness.

However, as helpful and relevant to daily life as it is, the CCA does not seem to be very attractive. I have just met the new batch of secondary 1s, and it's just so disappointing, its like knowing you're suddenly impotent. Like your suffering chronic impotency. Yes, that bad, you feel it don't you?

I can't wait to work these sorry little people into shape, just looking at them makes me want to die. When they wear their PE attire, I can see their stomach and nipples protrude out, forming a distinct shape, and they wonder why I want to pump them. Can you just imagine breasts made of fat? Its horrible. They need to get fit now, or it will be too late for them.

Below is a Isaac-eye view of my squad.

The duty of bringing these people up into great leaders is upon all of the sec 4's shoulders, for that I am grateful. Because of that, I can leave them to my stricter friends if they give me trouble. Once they've learned, I might actually teach them the proper stuff. Until then, sees you.

Christmas!

2007-12-22T07:20:00.001-08:00

Well. It's that time of the year again. The time of the year where people exchange gifts, go shopping, eat out, and get drunk. I don't think this year is going to be any different though, I'm not going to get presents from young ladies, I'm not going to buy anything, and I might not even get to drink.

Ahhh what the heck, the reason I made such an interesting first paragraph was to lull you into a false sense of security. The truth is I DO want something for Christmas this year!

I need a bloody wallet. The one I have is literally coming to pieces. The pockets are torn, the innards and outards are all scratched, and there's a hole big enough for my house key to slip out. Right now this is the one gift that would be perfect for Christmas.

I want an Mp3 player, with earphones. At least twice a week I have to sit in a miserable bus where to one talks to each other and the only sounds which can be heard comes from the bus engine and crappy shows like My Sassy Neighbor on TV mobile. If I have to contend with that mindless bullshit they show 16 hours a day every time I board a bus, I'd make sure that my earwax piles up so much that I won't be able to hear anything.

Why do shows like that even exist? Is it popular? Popular enough that it makes money to keep running? What does this reflect on Singapore? If that spectacle of incompetence caters to our taste, it's no wonder we make movies like "Legend of The Sea". You can tell it's a great movie by looking at the graphics.

We must be so proud to be Singaporean.
Why are sharks molesting a dragon?
Is this all we are capable of?

I personally did not watch the show, because to watch it just to prove that it blows is stupid. I'm also quite sure that watching it would be as pleasant as chewing and swallowing aluminum foil. Heck, I should be a movie director. I already have an idea.

The movie will be named "Doll" translated into Japanese. The plot is about a married man who buys a sex doll at a local Japanese store because he wasn't satisfied with his wife. He takes the life-size model, with a perfect body, into his home alone and does the expected. After the action, the man is completely exhausted, and is half-awake. His wife returns to find a naked woman strangling her husband on the wedding bed. Her husband dies soon after and she rushes out of the house.

Years later, she finds a new husband and days go by as normal. The husband decides to buy a sex doll and she, haunted by the memories, desperately tries to talk her husband out of it, but he wont listen. The doll he buys looks exactly like the one in her memory and continues to haunt her every moment. When her husband is awake, he is perpetually tempted by the doll, which sits harmlessly at a corner. When her husband is asleep, she stays awake by his side, fearful. A head slowly rises from her husbands side of the bed.

This idea has been copyrighted in every aspect as of 23rd of December 2007. Producers who wish to make this movie will ask me personally. Oh yeah so I want an Mp3 player.

Happy Holidays!

Something worse than Solitary Confinement?

2007-11-27T00:44:00.000-08:00

Here's how it works. You get locked inside a 1 story house which is brightly lit all the time , and instead of having a security guard standing outside, receiving food every 4-5 hours, you get a maid who cooks 3 meals a day, cleans after you, and tidies up the house. Sound good so far?

Here's the bad thing. He/she will look horrible. Warts, short and fat legs, fat body, disgusting face. The maid will never leave you alone. Never. So while you are trying to do something, anything, she'll pop her fat, ugly, face in front of you and asks you something completely random. Either that or says something stupid that you don't want to hear. Worse still if you have a broken television in the house and she keeps asking you which button on the remote switches it on.

After a few days she'll start nagging at you for not helping around the house or ignoring her (something most people would try). Then right after nagging she turns around and walks away singing badly. The house will be very hollow so you can hear the banshee's cry no matter how far you are. She might talk about or to lizards or ants or anything that might be living inside the house. There will be nothing to fade the noise. No music, no television, no instruments.

Any visitors will be scared away by her greeting. They will be treated the same way you are, ensuring that no one visits your house again, ever.

It might not sound that bad at first, but at prolonged times, can prove to be very effective at maintaining discipline. Anyone would do anything to get of there. Heck, I should be a prison warden. Everyone would fear me.

TV is Overrated

2007-11-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

I stayed at home the whole day yesterday and wondered why television sucks so much. My house has cable and thus access to over 30 different channels. However, only a few shows amongst hundreds have brought great entertainment. These shows deserve utmost praise for standing out amidst an endless sea of boredom. The fact that there aren't many of these shows proves that television is something I watch to sleep.

If there were a channel dedicated to keeping me entertained, it would have the following shows. If you do not agree that they are great or have not even heard of them, go to the 24-hour Dora The Explorer channel. I'm sure that show would be perfect for you.

Ren & Stimpy

Man I love this show. It used to be on Nickelodeon for a while. Ahh the times, so wasted because I didn't appreciate it earlier. Now it's gone, gone for a long, long time.

Rocko's Modern Life

This used to be on Nick too

Mythbusters and Brainiac

Discovery channel ought to be awarded for even having this show broadcasted. I only watched 2 episodes of Brainiac though, but I really, really want to watch more.

Other shows that would be on:

Movies on HBO or Star Movies. I watched Gladiator the other day and compared it to whatever I've watched on Disney. The Disney Channel can go to hell for showing dumbass movies every day at 7.00 pm, not realizing that quantity can never beat quality.

Seinfeld, Becker, and other shows like those.

Kids Next Door, Tom and Jerry, The Roadrunner show, Popeye, Batman (both the animated series and "THE" Batman).

The Simpsons, tragically still showing once a day. Should make it 2 or more.

American Dragon, the old version. The new artist makes them all look like shit.

Spongebob Sqarepants. I love it.

Robot Chicken, Bleach, Naruto and other shows I have to watch on Youtube or Crunchyroll.

Some shows on Hallmark.

Boston Legal.

Totally Spies. Maybe you didn't expect this to pop up, but after comparing them to the Powerpuff Girls , I'm glad they're on TV. Stupid bug-eyed freaks, I loved that episode where they got chased out to the moon and never returned. Wait, did that happen?

That may be the entire list, because I might have forgotten some old classics. If you see any show that you think I'd like, tell me about it.

Anyway, watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwvtREuu6yo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0TlZpgaEZ4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V35w3Lz7d4Y&feature=related

I might be wrong about Rihanna

2007-11-19T05:40:00.000-08:00

When the song "umbrella" came out, I thought she had turned from an artist to a slut. Seems like after listening to some of her other songs, as a result of having no life, "umbrella" may be the only terrible song she's made.

So what have I been doing besides this? I slept all day. That's it. That and making some comic. Heck, why do I even bother? If I were a reader, I wouldn't give two shits about someone else's day. That's right, I wouldn't care if anyone slept well or took a relaxing bath. That's not entertainment. I am never going to write about my day again ever.

The Winx Club can burn and die

2007-11-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

I can make better shows than anyone. Thus I can judge whether a show blows or rocks. The first victim of my fair judgment shall be the almighty Winx Club, spelt with an "x" instead of an "ks" to show how rebellious it is by purposely spelling the name wrong. Maybe I can name my show "Winx Sux OMGWTFBBQ". That would be a great name.

Not only does the name sound like crap, its about a bunch of sissy fairies in a school. They fight bad guys, and have spastic pixies the size of my head run around and annoy them (the villains) until they give up and say "humph!".

The characters themselves look like the aliens from "mars attack". Wait, the aliens look better. Who's eyes are so big they spread to the ears? It does not make them look cute, it makes my face numb.

With eyes that big and fingers so small, you could shove your fist inside. Fairies with fists in their eyes, man that would rock.

Anyone who likes watching this festival of bad voice-acting, lousy scripts and tasteless music should be chopped, deep-fried and served as popcorn people. Either that or called a very bad name. I know some people who watch this dumb show, and treated them as such.

Don't watch Winx Club if you've seen Top Gear. Winx Club to the brain is like salt to snails.

Popeye kicks ass

2007-11-17T01:28:00.000-08:00

I was thinking for some time the other day and I figured how much Popeye kicks ass. He eats spinach and takes down guys 3 times as big as himself. How cool is that? Its as if his strength comes directly from spinach, and the more he eats, the more powerful he becomes.

So if Popeye had a whole container strapped on his back full of spinach, that makes him as cool as bane, but kicks more ass since bane always becomes same old bigger bane.

Batman? Not even he can step up.
Olive and Pluto look like shit though.

funnest week ever

2007-10-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, now that I've finished celebrating the end of the end of year exams, I can finally put the events here for all to see. Why do I continue to do all this? I've asked this question to myself several time, resulting in the closing of my previous blog. I mean, I even came to know a stranger from America who actually proved her own intelligence, separating herself from the rest of the gang. How? By reading my blog weekly, and giving insightful comments. Her online name was....damn I forgot. Anyway it felt amazing to know that at least someone gives a damn. It motivated me to do more, better posts. Oh well, that time is gone, but I'll just continue .

...................................

Hey! I managed to go back to my first blog. Apparently her name was evercurious. Yeah she commented for about 3-4 of my posts... fun time blogging about total nonsense. I looked back at my blog and laughed at myself. My posts were so retarded... Actually, I feel ashamed because that page looks incredibly horrible. I don't think I want to look at it ever again. Letting go of the past.

Oh? Where were we? Oh right right this week. Amazing. The highlight was Tuesday as we ( Me, Eng, Lim and Farhan) went to Escape Theme park that day. That was the first time I went there and now I can proudly say that I have done Go Carting. The station was slightly impressive. You would go round and round until you reach the top where there would be a 45 degree slope downwards. I initially planned to speed the whole way but since it was my first time, I decided to slow down. It would've been so much better.

They also had this haunted house, complete with plastic arms and cheap mechanics. It wasn't scary at all except for one part where this guy was shaking back and fourth, electrocuted, in a dim lighted room. That was a bit freaky.

Afterwards, we went on this ride called the Inverter. Like most good rides, it brought us fear and suspence even before the ride.

The look of sheer terror is imprinted on our faces.
True enough, screams of horror arose when the ride started. It's more fun when you let go of the handles, I was the only one doing it though.

Then there was this other ride which wasnt so impressive. All it did was spin us around. Its was closed for cleaning for a while, no surprise for a ride that made me dizzy for the rest of day. However, that was'nt the ride that made me sick, it was what we saw before it.

Basically, there was this Itallian-looking fella with not a, not two, but three girls following him. The only reason we noticed them was because they were making some sult-fest love scene. How could those three girls feel okay with sharing the same guy? I mean, they took turns to hug and kiss him, so weird. It gave me chills and made my body and fingers tense and say, "ugh".

His entire being was the ultimate sterotype of "Pretty-faced lover boy". Imagine the surfer on a Billabong T-shirt. Yeah, that's him. Judging by his face, I'd say his name was Alfonso.

Well, the day didn't end there. After that we went to this buffet cook-it-yourself restuarant called Hans River. The price was $14 per head and I felt that the meal was not worth it. It was fun cooking though. It had all kinds of meat and vegetables, with different add-ons spliting up all the sections. For example, there was Char Siew chicken on one side and Tom Yum chicken on another side.

However, the major let down there was the service. We got served by this midde-aged guy who sold us drinks at $8 per jugg. So we wanted cold water and guess what? He told us straight in the face that the restuarant does not serve water. Wtf? He also served us with half a bowl of rice to start off.

Outraged, we had to settle with being $2 poorer and half a cup of rice short. We didn't take it too well though. Since they decided to treat us second-rate, we decided to give them the same treatment. Hehehe.

I started a "best designed Ice-Kachang" competition to see who could make the best looking clump of ice. They didn't serve us water, so we took their ice away. They didnt serve us rice, so we took away their agar-agar, syrup, milk and other add-ons. Unfortunately, the only reason I won was because no one else wanted to make one, and there was no more ice left. It was so fun seeing all that stuff go to waste.

To top it all off, I put a scoop of ice cream right on the top and gave it a smiley face with a noodle and two jelly cubes. The finished result.

From there we went into Popular bookstore, and behold! I now hold a copy of Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars. It was then that we realised that Lim had left his bag back at the place we ran away laughing from. Luckily they hadn't checked on our spot yet. The fools.

Well, the day was done from there. We went our separate ways and I enjoyed installing my new game. That day was fun, and I must have a day like that again. I must.

Enjoy living life, fellow men and women free from exams.

What am I gonna do...

2007-10-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

Alright, here we go. The exams are over and I'm trying to make this post as simple as possible. I'm going to have to supress my joy for this one. However, WAAAAHHHHHOOOO!!!!! ITS ALL OVER! Let's have a party! Wreck someone's house! Burn it! Let's dance all night, eat, drink and be merry! All laws no longer apply, we can do anything we want now, and theres nothing any person could do to stop us. We are immortal. We are empowered. We are....free.

Yes! Everything we've studied for has now been applied on the final papers and this is our moment, our time, our glory. Let us seize this opportunity to get as much fun imaginable. To enjoy our 2 1/2 months of freedom, to spend every precious moment as if it were our last.

Life is good.

Tomorrow I shall embark on a joorney to my friend's house to play video games and sports! Not to mention he has a rubik's cube! Haw Haw!

Anyway, I want to keep this post short so I can go back to playing games, I'll see you when I pass out and hallucinate. Have fun everyone!

I think she was referring to me in that post. I don't know, being in confusion is the worst torment anyone can recieve.

The first wave has passed, im tired, but i'm not giving up!

2007-10-06T02:57:00.000-07:00

The first wave? u ask. Well, for those who know me well enough, this would be the dreaded Chinese Paper 1, 2, AND oral. The only thing I have tuition for, this subject has been both a pain and a joy. Many times I was encountered outdoors by a person who only spoke chinese, probably becuase I looked the most intelligent. He would ask me directions to the nearest whatever or ask me to donate money for some charity. Using this gift of language, I was able to purposely direct them the wrong way and refuse to donate without just shaking my head and saying "HUh?". My blessing is their curse, that's my rationale to dislike studying Chinese.

Anyway, although I'm estatic that a certain language paper has come to pass, it is only the first hurdle, no matter how much I consider it not to be. There's still A-Maths, Chemistry and Combined humanities. I'm not sure why I keep failing that subject. After all, it's just having to remember events, patterns or formations and display them in an organised format. I blame rabbits for this. They seem innocent, but deep down they're the real cause of man's problems.

As for continuing my earlier post, as promised, we know that promises are the only thing you can break without touching. Which means, no. I've finally realised why I wanted to write all that stuff down in the first place. There was so much more I could have disclosed. Apparently, Chinese has influenced me so much that it caused me to draw attention to the others things I hate, thus allowing itself to manifest in my brain and my heart, taking control of my will and my soul.

Sometimes I feel that people are trying to make me feel jealous. I mean, at an ALL GUYS school, people offer gifts to other people, whether its a sip of a drink or a prepaid card for maple, and then look at me and SMILE. Wtf? Oh no, it's happening again!! ARRGggghH Chinese! Stop messing with me!!

Must stop writing, must not let Chinese take control....But, must finish post before its too late...

As a last note, bands like hoobastank, jet, creed, limp bizket, goo goo dolls, alien ant farm, korn, electrico, the offspring and maroon 5 have all appeared on MTV at least once. They danced, rapped, sang, played, rocked and swooned in the videos they produced. That is true talent, using what you have to make something good. Unlike the crap they show on MTV presently. Now its full of music videos with at least 1 minute of half-naked dancing girls or anything else that's seductive, complete with bad lyrics. It's not about the music anymore. I pity the fools who fell into MTV's trap, not knowing what true music is. They might as well call it STV. I'll leave you to decide what the S stands for.

Well, that's it. More to come when the exams are over.

Die! You Fugly Man Whores!!!

2007-09-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

Its youth, its power, explode! Not updating for an insanely long time has cluttered enough shit in my head that I have to let it all loose. Do you want to get inside my brain? Dammit there's actually something to think about now, not just the release of the latest Xbox 360 dame Halo 3, or the fact that I'm getting more handsome by the second.

No! The exams are coming, and guess what? I do not know whether to get serious or get slacked. Point is, the more serious I get, the more anti-social, boring and frustrated my life becomes. However, staying the way I am, knowing that although it's more fun and carefree, the results are gonna come back to haunt my very existence.

As such, I will now allow myself to clear my mind by putting everything I love and hate into this neat little packet of information we call a post. Doing this lets me focus on other things, and in case I forget what I'm thinking (most likely due to my brain deflating from A-maths), I can always come back and look here.

If you like any thing I have put in the list below, send me an email so that I may add you to my spam filter. Or you can complain to me personally and I'll buy you some ice cream. You big, fat crybaby.

Number 1 : Media Whores.
Simply put, a whore is a person who sells his/her body to be viewed, used or abused in order to gain money, publicity or pleasure. What really pisses me off is that they're actually getting more money through selling themselves then the average psychiatrist, who spends his life helping others, due to the horny-ness and stupidity of rich , spoilt Americans. The more famous whores include:

Rihanna
Actually, she wasn't a whore from the beginning, producing catchy songs like SOS and pon de replay.However, it was all downhill from there. Now she's just a talentless piece of meat, making songs like umbrella, ella , ella. Retarded spastic singer.

Your just a better-looking version of William Hung. Freak.

Usher
Wanna hear a poser sing about his body? Here's your man.

"You like what you see? come and get me!" "Yeah! Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, Yeah!"
The two things only a whore such as usher could possibly say.

On a side note:
Nice armpit hair, asshole.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie
Simple life my fart. These whores are getting tons of money by being idiots in a show that isn't even funny. Make a show about two rich brats living as farmers? What about the real farmers that actually do everything right but still earn 1/100000 as much as these morons? Someone do a favour for that chihuahua and end its suffering. That animal being alive or not in another person's care is proof that Animal Abuse Activists aren't doing a good enough job.

They look like trash, and smell like trash, and are as stupid as trash. You dumb producers.
There's rarely a show where sex is made funny, shows that accomplished this have surpassed American influence, thus making them good.That's why I watch anime and the occasional Korean drama.

Ok, it seems that I forgot the name of the others I saw. The rest were probably just backup dancers, the ones in woodlands, or arrested for bad driving. Gonna stop here for now, more on the same subject coming soon!

Fear.

2007-08-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone has fears, they grip people like a vice, letting go only when they possess the strength to fight it. Personally, there are still some fears that I have yet to conquer. Namely demonic attack, studies, and an uneventful life.

Dammit, I've read so many things. Articles, stories, facts, books, and most importantly the bible. They've basically said this one thing: "The Lord is my shepherd, who shall I fear?" I don't think I'm prepared to fight spiritually and academically.Yet I do not want my life to waste away.

Ok, this might be pretty silly , but I am terrified of being haunted in a toilet. I've read in a book and afterwards thought long about how God would put difficulties in front of us in order to test us, and should we pass, allow us to grow in spirit.

The reason I'm quite frightened by all this is the rationale behind my thinking. My thoughts would go, "If I were to be attacked, it would only prove the presence of God and of spirits. However, If I need to be attacked in order to have faith, haven't I already lost the battle that is to come?"

To summarise this thought, I have made this slightly retarded poster.

The worst time to encounter paranormal beings is when your pants are down.

Wah, I'm getting tired already, I wanted to post about more stuff. Some random stuff, like the superhero my sister and I made up. With the superhero being my brother.

..............................................................

Ah heck, since I've started typing about it, might as well show the whole thing.

What's the name of the hero?

His Name Is Appendix Man!

Ian Wong started out as a normal individual. Boring, ignorant, and unattractive (Hahahahahaha). But then, on one eventful day, he drank, Chemical X. Granting him ultra-super non-appendix based powers (through surgery)! Ian Wong, and no one else because he is a loner, has dedicated his life to fighting crime, and the forces of evil!

Appendix man, appendix man,
Does whatever appendix man does,
Does he have an appendix,
No he doesn't, he's appendix man
Look out, here comes appendix man...

"Halt there villain! Stealing is BAD!" Ian shouts in what he hopes to be a commanding voice.
"Oh no!" the thief cries, "he doesn't have an appendix!!!!"

Appendix man, appendix man,
Does whatever appendix man does,
Does he have an appendix,
No he doesn't, he's appendix man
Look out, here comes appendix man...

This post is getting dumber by the second.
So I shall stop here.

See ya everybody!

Thank You E-Learning

2007-08-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, most of you might not know what this E-learning is in the first place, but simply put, it's a time when we get to stay at home and log on to school website to receive lessons and homework. Compared to normal schooling, this programme is total pawnage.

1. pawnage (noun?)

getting owned like a pawn in a game, usually an online video game.

In this case, normal school fought with E-learning, and got itself whooped by the power of technology.

Anyway, due to this school programme, I have enjoyed 2 days of relaxation, which means I didn't have to go to school. Instead, I went to my friend, Farhan's, place with a lot of other friends to study for an hour, then played the PlayStation 2 and Risk. After that, we went for a long, carefree swim in the condominium's gigantic swimming pool, which had a huge water slide and a place where you could turn these little valves and water would pour out on top.

To top it all off, we had a tom yum steamboat for dinner, filled with crab meat, sausages, tofu, prawns, the works. It's too bad I wasn't allowed to stay for the night, I had to get home to sleep then come back the next day. Personally, I did not see the logic behind that action. I was continuously warned about drugs, smoking, alcohol, women, whatever. But there weren't any of those things there. Well, maybe it's just he wants me to come back home safe.

I can be trusted to take care of myself, can't I?

Waking up the following day, I went back and once again, took a very enjoyable swim in the vast body of water, helped clean up, and went to play Dota! At a Local Administrative Network shop! My razor owns la.

During the swim, however, one or two of us were a bit too worried about their image. They kinda described themselves as chubby and fat. Which is why I shall relate this event to a show I watched a few days ago. It's called "two hundred pound beauty" which, if you have seen enough, you would know to be a Korean drama.

Basically, it's a show where this fat but talented women gets a revolutionary plastic surgery operation and becomes incredibly beautiful, taking a new identity. This women later finds out that being good looking does not matter as much as being talented.

The point is, as long as you are good at doing something, and enjoy doing it, looking good doing it wouldn't be very important, unless you're a model.

Taking only but a moment, I noticed that the actress who played the beautiful version, in a way, resembles Lydia.

This is the picture of the actress, not Lydia.

Ah heck, its 11.22 already? Man I wanted to go play Gunbound after this...
Oh yeah, don't forget to leave time out for stoning!

I'm away from my computer, and I love it

2007-08-08T03:48:00.001-07:00

Man, going out never seemed better than staying at home to me. At home, I have Dota, CS, Dawn of War, Gun bound, you name it. The process of gaming at home is very complex, as there are many processes that go into this exciting and revolutionary course of action. In order to put this confusing process into words, the following steps have been organized into point form.

Take note, this will be THE most mind-blowing and confusing list you will ever read in your entire life. This is not recommended for the pregnant or the faint hearted.

STEP 1 : TURN ON THE COMPUTER
STEP 2 : PLAY GAMES ON THE COMPUTER
STEP 3 GET TIRED AND SLEEP OR KEEP PLAYING UNTIL YOU PASS OUT
STEP 4 : TURN ON THE PLAYSTATION 2

If you look like this at the end of the day, you have successfully became a full-fledged, 100 percent, all-mighty nerd.

Isn't playing computer games everyday so worthwhile?

Why am I saying this? Isaac, saying that computer games aren't first? Pssff. Well, that's because I spent the day doing what I actually wanted to do, and would really enjoy. Not just play games. Here's how the day went by

7:00 : Attended school national day celebration, which was immensely disgusting and got tempted to play at a LAN shop, the place where groups of people gather to play the coolest, greatest computer games that ever were. Such as maple story.

"Wow, I've killed enough level 3 monsters and gained a level! Now, I can fight level 4 monsters!!" Play maple story, trust me, you won't waste a second of your time.

9:30 : Walked to Nicholas eng's house. He is a friend of mine, who looks like this.

Along the way, Nicholas lim, who followed, threw a freaking hard seed at me, and I was running, making it hurt even more. But I laughed it off, with a ice cube to my forehead.

At nicholas' house, we played my favourite board game, RISK, the game of global domination. It was very enjoyable, as the forces of happiness (yellow), triumphed over the power of anger (red). Then we played Kingdom Hearts 2, in which you must play at least 3 hours in order to finish the introduction. Nicholas Lim, however, seemed to enjoy it. "Im owning! WOAH!" he cried.

We went to MacDonald's to eat lunch, the place where we all tried to restrain ourselves from throwing rolled-up food wrapping into that area reserved for a pack of fart-noisy children, whose screams drowned out the sound of our important disscussion of what that tasty treat with the flour mixed with peanut was called.

Going back to the house, we played Star Wars: III which was very cool. Zi guang, who also followed us, was very good at the game. Dodging, blocking, and counter attacking.

The face of a true gamer.

Actually, gaming is fun, but not if you are planning to play it for several hours, so we went to....THE BEACH!! Best time ever. We cycled to a nice spot where we sat down and watched the waves beat on the breakwater. As we talked, stress literally left us, I was free. Yeeeeaaaahhh.

Well, nothing much happened afterwards. We just went home and I plucked my butt on the computer, typing the post you see now. Have fun stoning everyone!

Man, I wanna try ice skating tomorrow..

I can't make up my mind!!!

2007-08-02T04:23:00.000-07:00

Hm..something just does not feel right... The music, don't stop me now is sounding a bit irritating, so I'm going to change it once again. Just so you know, it's gonna be "good time" by electrico (local band).

Anyway, came home at 6.30, super tired, yet not enough to fall asleep. If there were any super power in the world, it would be the ability to control minds. Who needs super strength or laser eyes, or great intelligence when there are other people who can have those things for you?

Well, turns out we can control other peoples' minds. Because there is already a website dedicated to help you mess with others' lives! This has probably helped more lives then UNICEF or that animal organisation with the panda on the logo.

OH MY FART I GET TO CONTROL MINDS!!

Nah, I don't really believe that advertisement, they're definitely talking about basic manipulation, which is so easy to do. In fact, I'm so good at it, I'm going to introduce a new game called "peer pressure". Its simple to play, get your subject to do what you want, and you win! Every time you say something suggestive, aggressive or anything to get your unknowing opponent to think about doing what you want him/her to, your subject gets "pressure points".

For example, saying, "Think of how it could benefit both of us" would give you like, 5 points or something. The persuader loses if the subject persistently refuses or stays indifferent for 10 Min's, runs away or ends up getting the persuader himself to stop or do something else.

You lose if the subject stays like this:

Do not play this game when surrounded by dolts.

Well, that's the end, be sure to give feedback on the music since I'm sooo insecure.
Lay back for a while and enjoy the comfort of stoning.

I've insulted people!

2007-08-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

Heh...terribly sorry everyone. OK! Back to the real post. It seems that national day is coming out, which means that it is time for holidays! Which means it is time to PARTY!! Or at least watch a movie. Here are the lists of holidays we are all going to have, looking so forward to it.

5 Days: wednesday - school celebration
thursday - actual national day
friday - public holiday
saturday and sunday - weekend

Yeaahhhhhhhhhhhh..........
The best part is, Rush Hour 3 is coming out on the 9th of August! I seriously have to find someone to go with, or organize a day when a lot of people can make it. Maybe even a whole day of non-stop going out! Yes, we can go roller-blading, something I've never tried before, then ice skating afterwards, which I've also never tried before. This holiday will mark the time when Isaac does many new things. I got it all figured out. Hehe.

Oh man, suddenly I feel so tired. I came home at 6.30 for the last three days and although this may not sound like much for others, it is for me. Anyway, since this is not really an exciting time, there won't be an exciting story today. Hopefully, I'll post something good later on. I am sooo lazy rite now.

surprise, surprise

2007-07-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

Surprise, surprise. After countless adventures and innumerable discoveries, I, Isaac Wong, have decided to start posting once again, for the sake of various people (namely the person who tagged "Please!! Please!!"). Being the person that I am, I would happily entertain this humble request, not because of my many values, which are many, but because I seriously cannot bear to watch a girl beg. Girl power has once again reared its manipulative head.

The music shall be changed as promised, as hearing the same song is quite boring.
The song's name is "Don't stop me now" by Queen.

Have I considered other songs? Of course, definitely, for sure, undoubtedly. Well, actually, no.

Wait, maybe I have, yes, the other choices were "Cobra style" by the Teddybears, "Sunday morning" by Maroon 5, or sticking with the original song.

Songs like "Big girls don't cry" by Fergie sound gay and distasteful.

"I miss you like a child misses their blanket" Fergie
"All the souls that would die just to feel alive" Muse
Please, for the sake of all that is good, compare the two lines from their songs.

Another choice was "Wait a minute" by the Pussycat dolls. Girl power. Never underestimate it. It will eat you alive from the inside out if you're not careful, but cute and cuddly when treated right. I have yet to explore this magical, majestic, magnificent, mind-blowing, other words which start with M, area which brings fourth happiness, compassion and the greatest of all, love.

Heh, I love my computer. Does that mean my computer's a girl? It has to be, without a shadow of a doubt. But it seriously needs more RAM, its so slow, like Lydia.

Well, I'm gonna start changing the music now. Peace out y'all. \/ |^_^| ....

this post will be short, just like the holidays

2007-06-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

I just noticed how 4 weeks can go by so fast. Its was so comforting to know that I didn't have to wake up early every morning for the entire month, but now, looking back into how I spent my "holiday", I feel as if I should have woken up earlier to enjoy it more.

So, for all you faithful viewers out there that actually read my blog, here's how I actually wanted to spend my holiday.

1st week: visit every single friend whose address I knew.
2nd week: find stuff on youtube and share it with everyone on msn messenger.
3rd week: go out on various dates to different places, watching the sun set with my eyes half closed and slowly sipping a cocktail on the beach as day turned to night. Revisiting fond memories of school and church time, taking in deep breathes, experiencing a sense of relief and satisfaction as I exhaled, letting go of all my troubles.
4th week: return back to the real world and do my homework.

Now, that would've been a holiday well spent. I would be recharged, energised, ready to face my academic challenges as I returned to school. Alas, that fate was not to be.

This is how I really wasted my holiday!

1st week: went on a trip to Malaysia which was actually quite fun, but used up 2 days for travelling.
2nd week: occupied by a CCA camp. Enough said.
3rd week: downloading and playing Granado Espada (took me 1 whole day just to get it installed, great graphics but laggy)
4th week: currently in progress, doing stupid A-maths homework and pondering on how fast time went by.

Well, that's the end of this short post.

Futuresex/lovesounds is a stupid name for an album. Do you agree? Explain your answer.

L1: pointing out the obvious (1,2 m)
L2: L1 and explaination (award no marks for explainations such as "because it's obvious")
L3: Comparison to other names
L4: Valid conclusion
L5: Neat handwriting (you examiners suck).

I have an idea, lets change the music to Justin Timberlake's Sexyback, just for the fun of it.

Heh heh, scared you didn't I?

holidays have officially started

2007-06-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

Its true. Well, for all those who have gone through the same pain, torment, anguish and desperation as I have (sob, tears drip). Now as I am being emo lets take a look at all the miseries of the world.

The world is currently screwed because..

1 : We have long been forbidden to say "merry" Christmas because the powerful people are afraid of Muslim-like Islamic radicals which might be offended by these "heinous terms", causing much widespread destruction and sorrow, which they are already doing now. As such, it is strongly recommended to say "happy" Christmas now. Wtf?

2: Isaac is currently under an emo spell, which doesn't really happen often now does it?

3: There is actually a website called www.jihad.net.

Here is the brief summary of the website, which is mainly 2 sentences, a picture and a storyline.

Welcome once again to Jihad.Net, the home of the Jihad to Destroy Barney the Purple Dinosaur. This is the fourth revision of the page since it first went live back in the early 1990s.

The Earth is under attack.

The demon lord B'harne, servant of the malevolent alien High Magus of Lyra, has commenced his assault on the human race. Under the benevolent guise of the children's television host Barney the Dinosaur, B'harne seeks to destroy the minds of children and adults and bind them to his tyrranical (ha ha they spelt it wrongly! Thank you spellcheck!) will. Once he has made mindless slaves of humanity, B'harne will rule the Earth with an iron talon.

There are those who oppose B'harne. Drawn together by mysterious forces, mad scientists and sorcerors (they did it again!) , warriors, scholars and surrealists have banded together into a fighting force capable of standing against B'harne's power and the power of his masters. With the mystic blade of the Barney-Slayer leading the way, these warriors fight a neverending (shouldn't there be a space somewhere?) battle against the forces of Evil and Stupidity.

They are the Jihad to Destroy Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

4: Barney is so cool how could they do that???

Ok! Emotional time is over!
I can't think of anymore things to write about. Maybe I'll do a quiz or something, but that's so pointless. I mean you do a quiz to find out more about yourself and reflect on whether or not that's how you want to be. When you do a quiz and post it, it just shows that people don't know you enough from all your posts to tell what kind of person you are and so, you have to post quiz results.

That's just an opinion anyway. You do not have to go ahead and completely stop doing and posting quizzes, I'm going to be a supportive person and say that if you enjoy it, just do it.

Wasn't that just a touching, hope-inspiring moment?

Heck, I'll just do a quiz in the hope of finding peace and tranquility in myself, achieving well being and a heightened ego. Well, here goes.

.......

I couldn't find a proper quiz to take, the ones I found were mainly stupid questions like: "which of my boyfriends would like you?", "are you an idiot?" and "would your heart be eaten by a vampire or a werewolf?". What kind of questions are these? It's bullshit!

So, I have put my own knowledge to the test and made a totally new and original quiz! Jam-packed with meaningful and well thought out questions.

1: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
The largest tortoise on Earth, so that I'll be famous among humans, and they'll treat me with all kinds of luxuries. I can go on land and sea as I desire and get to live long.

2: If you can make a song, what would it be about?
It would have no meaning at all but would be very nice to listen to.

3: What would you do if everyone you knew forgot you existed?
I'd give them a surprise visit right at their own home in a super-realistic Grim Reaper outfit and tell them a friend has departed.

4: There's no more school, ever. What to do?
Celebrate and go out with everyone for the first few months, play computer games the next, then get a job as one of those people who start conversations to persuade others to buy stuff.

5: Are you tired making all this up?
WELL DUH

6: Do you feel like stopping?
I feel like a person who's talking to himself.

7: How do you feel about the holidays?
They're too short and yet are occupied by various outings, CCA activites and tuition lessons.

8: This is the last question.
It's not even a question, but I'm happy!

9: How did you like this quiz?
You suck. When's the real last question and I made it so it didnt feel very special.

10: Will you do quizzes made by me in the future?
If I make anymore!

Congrats! You have finished the quiz! Here are the results.
Isaac is the greatest form of life on Earth anyone could ever reach. In other words, greater than you.

Well, THAt Felt Stupid.

this is pretty awesome

2007-06-09T01:55:00.000-07:00

Back from camp!

2007-06-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Regardless of how many people view my blog, or at least know it exists, I have decided to continue posting, undeterred by the obstacles that come my way that attempt their best to discourage me or at least make me feel bad.

Its like you have a long sword and your trying to fight this guy, but while you're running towards him he writes something really personal on a sheet of paper and, shows it to you. You get all depressed and you just stop halfway and walk back in tears saying, "aw, what's the point". Its really like that.

Seeing this as the perfect opportunity,

you may not be able to see this picture due to copyright
I am SUCH a lawbreaker...

Seriously, after this CCA camp, which I thought would have been stupid but wasn't that bad, I learnt that sometimes people really need to Shut. It. Up. Have you ever gone through a situation extremely stressful (it could be anything, ranging from running out of toilet paper to getting dumped, to learning that your favourite pastry shop has either stopped selling those cute little circular cakes with chocolate filling, whipped cream at the sides, and the cherry on top which just melts in your mouth with savoury goodness that makes you go, "ummm" when you eat it, or raised the price from a dollar to 2.50. It really makes you feel like crying because, you know that there are other stuff out there which you could eat, but you just can't find anything else) and got so depressed that you just sit down on a bench next to a road for some time?

Well, there you are sitting on the bench, wondering how they could do this to you, how they could let you down. You cup your hands together and put them on your face. People are walking past you and one stops and says, "I know Kung fu!". No you don't. Shut up! Just leave the guy to his own misery and anguish knowing that he has to pay an extra 1.50 for some flavoured dough. Dammit!

Hmm, ok back to the camp. Shouldn't talk about everything, just the highlights.

First day.

We went for a 20 kilometre hike. 20000 metres on foot, stepping on road grass, glass, broken bricks, pipes, lights, you name it. This was the first time I went so far without using any form of transport. It kinda sucked since we went to changi village, a place that my father often brought me to. Where was the sense of accomplishment, the thrill of exploration? Well, I was a bit proud knowing I managed to cover so much ground. Nasi Lamak was good, and we got a free ride back to school.

Yes! That is all we did for the whole day! Slept in a tent with 3 others keeping me awake killing ants, spraying repellent and talking horny. Whatever other things that were done that night managed to stop me from sleeping until 1.30 am. Got bitten by mosquitoes 3 times on each leg.

I have tuition homework to finish..

Second day.

Found the joy of eating canned pineapple in heavy syrup, Maggi noodles and satay chicken cubes. I Also enjoyed the power of being sec. 3 and gained much pleasure commanding the foot drills. Under me, the sec. 1 and 2s had a lot of slack, doing all kinds of weird mistakes and not getting pumped, merely laughed at. In my opinion, we all had a good time that day. Normally, a commander won't show any emotion while leading. Heh heh, I kinda jumped around, laughed and pointed jokingly when they passed a test I gave them. I think they enjoyed it.

SEXyBACK!

Third Day.

Should really start doing some tuition homework.
Generally a boring day, ate more of that delicious pineapple in heavy syrup and went kayaking. Watched my first "horror" movie (rated pg) The Grudge 2. Half of the movie was spent saying, "WTF?" and it was somewhat predictable when the ghost would pop out. I mean, the ghost just pops up and scares the guy, next thing you know hes dead. WTF? Hugged a big, soft, sec1 like a teddy bear throughout the movie as a joke, but it does feel better than sitting down alone doesn't it? After that, we watched Click. I made a new friend that day!

Fourth day.

Felt a bit scared going to the toilet that day, maybe the ghost would come out of the toilet and grab me inside while I was sitting down. Ew. Got a Corporal rank and three new badges! Went back walking with the teddy bear and realised the true meaning of "there's no place like home".

Tuition homework sucks. Seriously, it sucks.

I think I should go fix the music problem now. Have fun.

music's spoilt...I think

2007-06-04T03:22:00.000-07:00

Great..I leave my home for just a few days to have fun in Malaysia and this happens. Not only is my music spoilt, my creativity has been wrecked. Now, prepare yourself for a seemingly never ending speech consisting only of complaints, lawsuits and/or otherwise, stupidity.

No. 1 : Rock, Paper, Scissors is a Freaking Official Sport.

In other words, Full Of Shit. I can take a guess that whoever organized an entire competition, built a stadium to hold that competition, hired someone to be the host of that competition, released an advertisement to attract people, hired "professionals" to explain how rock paper scissors should be an official sport and even gave prize money to winners, should be an old, whithering individual who has absolutely no life whatsoever who has too much money on his hands and, I can't believe I'm saying it, probably never will, instead of using it to contribute to the hurricane relief, is using his hard-earned or inherited cash to adulterate the innocence of a child's game.

I really hoped that I used it correctly.
I really hoped that I used too many full stops.

Going back to the point, despite the entire idea being stupid, the new, official sport has gathered huge crowds of fans and enormous TV revenue. It has even given Americans something else to watch besides Flintstones.

Who could ever watch ANYTHING other than Flintstones??
AMERICANS.

Heh heh, I'm just kidding ok? Please don't get all defensive, don't file a lawsuit, don't let the government put me in prison for discriminating the valued people who saved us from the evil Japanese in World War II.

Dammit now I have to apologise again.

I love your technology, I love your Toyota, I love your odour-free Nippon paint and I love your Sony. We cool now?

There will be a time when I publish a comic solely based on rock paper scissors, but my scanner isn't working, and my stupid CCA camp is coming up.

No. 2 : My CCA camp sucks!

They think I'm going because I've handed up my acknowledgement form. However, on that single page of information, they did not tell me where to report (I'm taking a wild guess and say its school), when to report, what to bring, what not to bring, what to do, what to buy, etc.

With all this in mind, one can make a totally random suggestion and advise me not to go.

No. 3 : My Blog does NOT suck!

It rocks.

No.4 : Check out these amazing videos that inspired me to carry on living on this horrible, miserable planet, enduring endless pain and suffering on my sofa watching Spongebob Squarepants which used to be good, but now is nothing but sad and heart wrenching.....I'm not emo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEQUpAICv6w&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nIlFsERnmk&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCAt9WcCFbM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIllRdSzSug&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmGVYki-oyQ&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edoogtoons%2Ecom%2Fep%2Dmv2%2Ephp

"Weird Al" Yankovic is now the best band in the world.

3 things I learnt from the Smiles brochure

2007-05-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

When my fathers car was running low on fuel just after dinner, we stopped at a convenient Esso gas station to get petrol and went inside the mart for drinks and chocolate (chocolate rocks socks). Gripping my Gatorade and maltesers, I calmly stepped up to the counter. And lo! I saw a most disturbing sight which made me shake and quiver in fear. It was staring right into my eyes, persuading me to take it. I stretched out my hand, reaching for it. When it was closely examined, I laughed. A few things were learnt that day.

No. 1 : The front page of the brochure could be used in a horror flick advertisement.

Just taking a glace at it already convinces you that its true.

Now, simply make a few adjustments here and there, and you have a horror flick ad!

Its only a rough idea.. I'm sure some other person can do a better job, but what the heck.

No. 2 : Men go to petrol dispensers and cars for sensual pleasure

The guy in this picture obviously shows great love for his petrol dispenser, looking suggestively into it and with a smile that wide, you can tell straight away that he enjoys touching it.

Now, this man has different preferences. He believes bigger is better and gets turned on by those synergy types. He's strong and muscular and is always delighted to give his lover a big hug. He's everything a petrol dispenser could ever wish for. Once again the smile on his face amazes me, because I can only see such happiness when watching anti drug abuse movies.

That smile disturbs me. Enough said.

Well, if these perfect specimens of evidence from the most reliable source ever were not enough to make you think the entire human race is doomed, please, read the rest.

No.3 : Women and children turn to fruits and groceries for comfort after finding that their video games, toys, books, comics, newspapers, message chairs, jewelry, nail polish, eyeliner and friends were not enough to fill their emotional wants.

Oh, watermelon, you're the only one who understands me, I wanna hold you...and kiss you....and...oh....oh...I wish my friends could be more like you...I love you so much watermelon..

I really hoped that I would find the willpower to continue, but no. No, freaking, way.

Oh, tomato,...

Oh, groceries,..

Well, that's it. If this has'nt disgusted you, you're an idiot. I rule.

Results Are In!

2007-05-16T00:25:00.000-07:00

After taking 3 weeks to follow up on my last post, I am finally making a post! Seeing as I have utterly wasted (I spelt this as watsed in my English exam) valuable seconds of your time which could have instead been spent doing something meaningful and self-fulfilling, I am satisfied in doing a great justice to the world, and will begin the actual post...now.

The Actual Post (pun intended, laugh to your heart's content, go on)

Spending 3 weeks preparing for the exams and not posting, I have done so much over this lengthy length of time. So much that I have to summarize it all to fit in a 800x600 window, which I don't really give shit about, but mainly to simplify this extravagant piece of work for the average simpleton the comprehend and understand enough to be translated into priceless information, which would make him/her to be elated in the knowledge of these words enough to keep on reading. (wow, I love wasting people's time)

WEEK 1: the days of anticipation

It was the most precious week we had, the week that would unify us under one common goal. Everyone in the class used this time, paying attention to the lessons, taking down notes, doing extra studying at home and attending as much tuition as they could handle (in my case, once a week).

So, with the exams drawing closer and closer, we trembled in fear, clutching our sword of mechanical pencil lead and black/blue ink pen, wearing the armor of revision, textbooks and homework and holding the shield of relatives expectations, threats of extra tuition. The rewards we were offered inspired us to hold our ground as our sworn enemies, the dreaded OAS sheet, question and answer paper and lastly the answer papers, which were most vulnerable to our weapons, but came in exceedingly large numbers, charged towards us.

Most of the level were prepared, bravely stepping up to the front lines with their boots of arrogance, making the clanking sounds of self praise as they walked. However, some were not, including me, who had spent the entire week playing dota and counter-strike.

WEEK 2 : the day of reckoning

Its was only during the exam period that I felt studying was necessary, dropping the mouse and taking up the textbooks. OH SHIT. Anyway I merely looked through them, answering the questions that caught my attention. After that, which was actually after 2 hours....gimme my com!!! I wanna head shot and get killing spree!!

As such, exams didn't go quite as well as I hoped. Luckily, in a world where people always compare themselves to others, I was fortunate enough to find that most of the entire class found a certain chemistry, A-maths, Chinese and com. humanities paper impossible to do. Isn't it great to be in such a wonderful school?

"If we all fail we fail together, long as we still have each other, and I will still be your friend".....
"And I, and I, and I, eh, eh, eh," this song has no sense...just 1 Rihanna or Ribena whatever dancing with an umbrella. Gonna post about mtv someday. Cool I just visited the ribena website. http://www.ribena.co.uk/index_flash.html

Week 3: marking day and results!!

With the great battle finally over, the survivors slumped back into their comfy chairs, never forgetting the memory of the fallen, who have been defeated repeatedly by the 9 waves of exams. As they rested their weary fingers, they pondered on how they could have done better, trained harder, or received better equipment.

The many wounded students found ways to adapt to their defeat. Firstly, push the blame unto others. Secondly, mope and pout and do everything except repent and work harder for the next exam. It feels great not to be among them.

Estimated Results:
English--B
Chinese--D
Maths--B (improve!!)
A-maths--F (An improved F, but tt doesnt really make a diff does it, 3/4 the class fail)
Com. Humanities--D (also an improvement! half the class fail)
Bio--B
Chem--C (heehee half the class fail)
Physics--Either B or C (section c unmarked, but for leaving out 20 marks and still passing is pretty darn good dont you think)

So there you have it. Enjoy the rest of your lives which just might go to waste once again.

language exams gone, now theres a-maths

2007-04-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Now in this time of distress, when the English exams have come to pass, and the rest are yet to come, leaving us only 1 week to appreciate all the good things that have ever happened in our lives. Looking back into the past saying, "wow, I've lived such a good life", what am I doing as others are frantically searching for an answer, a clue, or even a hint to whatever questions that may pop out during the examination, that they may secure in the knowledge of scoring well?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Ok, maybe a bit of dota here and there, blogging, and to top it all off, my friend's passing me the much anticipated, game of the century, the all-important necessity to filling a void in our empty lives, I give you, with a very joyful heart, the Best Game In The World, HALF LIFE 1.

Yes! With it's spectacular 600 x 400 resolution, 16 bit graphics and an arsenal of weapons, this game is astoundingly comparable to that of quake 4!

Who can even detect the slightest difference between these two games??
Heh, I'm bored..lets just end now so Idon't have to keep typing

heh heh -- adsense

2007-04-27T05:03:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't be enticed when a program comes up that allows you to earn money solely depending on other people without you yourself having to work? Well, something just like it already exists! Its.....AdSense! It's free and easy to use (as indicated in the introduction page) and enables you to gain money by people clicking on the advertisement on your website!

However, within days of participating in the wonderful world of free money and actually having such an attractive advertisement on the hurricane effort, I have found that only 18 year olds and above are allowed to gain money from this convenient application of technology. This is bullshit.

Below is the feedback on how amazing AdSense is in helping desparate individuals attain a subtle form of accomplishment, being able to sqeeze a random amount of money to add to their miserable, pathetic lives spent staring at the computer screen, celebrating deep down in their hearts every cent that they made.

“At the beginning I was very concerned that I might lose traffic to competitors. I only used AdSense on a limited number of the site’s pages, and I watched the stats very carefully. If the traffic, pages per visitor, or conversion rates dropped I knew I could easily pull the ads...Since implementing AdSense, our ad revenue has increased more than tenfold, and 100 percent of my available inventory is now sold through AdSense.”
- Vik Kachoria, Entrepreneur, Real Adventure.

Watched the stats very carefully is the part i love best. I'm not saying that AdSense is a waste of whatever precious time we have left in our lives, I'm just saying that they could have more than 3 positive remarks on their service if they had allowed 15 year olds (like me) to benefit from their gift to the world. The other two remarks are below for your veiwing pleasure

“Instead of spending money to hire an additional sales rep to sell ad banners, Google ads have become a virtual sales tool for us. Now we’re able to reap thousands of dollars in additional advertising revenue each month that we would very likely have missed without Google AdSense.”
- Robert Hoskins, Editor and Group Publisher, Broadband Wireless Exchange

“Google shows targeted ads reflecting the sorts of information and services SeatGuru visitors want. For a small business like mine, this is the best approach to advertising. You set it up easily, it automatically serves relevant ads, and it takes very little of my time.”
- Matt Daimler, Founder, SeatGuru.com

http://www.google.com/services/adsense_tour/page9.html

So the question is: why not allow us 7 to 17 year olds (the age when they are normally exposed to the internet to those that can't use AdSense) to use your incredibly effective program? No no no never mind that most of the world's population of 7 to 17 year olds are connected to the internet and have a blog which you can exploit for your advertising purposes, nahhh we'd like to avoid a situation whereby both the advertising company and the host of the website benefit from your currently exclusive program.

I could comment more on this issue like how they think their better than us by being "exclusive" to 18 year olds and above, but I wanna go play my computer games now. I don't think i'll get sued or something for this will I?

Note: The AdSence on my blog will be left up there for fun. Thank you for your support

oh man i just have to post this

2007-04-27T04:30:00.000-07:00

(http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=femnazi2)

Shoot my own foot till the cows come home

2007-04-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

Yes the ENGLISH exam is tommorow, and what am i doing? BLOGGING. Thats right, BLOGGING. BLLLOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGINNNNGGGGG. Heh, that was so cheap and pointless. Oh well, at this very moment other people are burning the midnight oil studying at the eleventh hour until they are at the end of their tether, confident that they wont be at their wits end in the exams, making sure that the exam would be child's play. However I do not have my heart in my mouth, taking down notes in black and white until im heavy-eyed and in a complete fix the moment I wake up the next day at sixes and sevens. Thus, I think studying for the english exams is just as useful as carrying gold to Newcastle.

By leaps and bounds, remarks will be blurted out about how I'm wrong or how I'm blowing my own trumpet and one might go to any lengths to blaze the trial to calling me thick in the head. Well, stop airing your opinions and washing your dirty linen in public. Nobody wants to know your ups and downs, how you turned over a new leaf or threw in the sponge. You are not the salt of the earth! You are not the apple of anyone's eye. In fact, I laugh up your sleeve whoever you are. Yeah that's right, I siad it , now go cry over spilt milk you hopeless white elephant. Heh, crocodile tears.

Well, now that im done talking through my hat about someone I may have made up, let's just hope that we see eye to eye. I'm not studying for english, and yet im looking up idioms, cool.
Ok, I know that this post could be a lot longer, but I have put my shoulder to the wheel and I cant put my best foot forward if it drags to more than 40 minutes. So, I'm ending it here. I'm striking while the iron is hot so that I can finally stand on my own legs (my legs are cramped, crap!). Taking the French leave! Starting from scratch just to put the cart before the horse is just sticking my neck out. I have to mind my p's and q's.

To find out the meaning of whatever ive siad, please consult your nearest self-help book on idioms. If you cant find them, you're just a pig in a poke.

What's GOING ON In My Life?!

2007-04-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

How is it that normal people will feel so stressed, busy, and tired all at the same time and yet I can still sit back, relax and enjoy the comfort of my home? Yes, exams are just around the corner, with just 3 days till Chinese paper. People are working hard, people are studying, people are putting so much of their daily lives into reading, memorising, understanding, solving that they are driven to the brink of self-destruction (I think some people have studied so hard that they blank out during the exam itself so yeah self-destruction).

There is no logical explanation as to why I don't have "a sense of urgency" or "the drive to push forward" as said by my teachers besides the fact that I just dont. In fact, maybe i'm writing this to get my mind on studying but...if that's the case y am i still writing this?!

Great..now I know that this isnt working..but I still feel like writing anyway. So how could it be that I'm not worried about the exams even though I know I should? Maybe there are others like me, but I'm not prepared to repeat what happened in Term Assessment 1.

The first exam of the year, taking into consideration my sec 2 results, I thought that i didn't need to study since the paper would be as simple as my past examinations. As such, while others were frantically searching their textbooks revising what they have learnt over the past few months, I was at home watching TV eating potato chips or playing Dota.

(some random image taken from google)

THE RESULTS: ENGLISH - B
CHINESE - E
COM.HUMANITIES - F
MATHS - E
A-MATHS- F
PHYSICS - C
CHEMISTRY - A
BIOLOGY - B

Now the whole world can see why I should be studying, wow, I feel like studying now (or maybe im just hungry).

GAHH sports

2007-04-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Sports. What is sports? Sports is a test of physical ability, a test of strength, of power, of the ability to do work, lots of things. I think sports is the only thing that reminds us of how important our bodies are. Imagine this, you sit on a couch, playing video games or reading a book. Suddenly you feel your muscles start to lose control. You cant lift the remote, you cant even STAND UP. That's what your world would be like of there were no sports.

Why am i talking about sports in the first place? Well, firstly, my NAFTA. Arrghh NAFTA is a test of physical ability, a test of strength, of power, of the ability to do work, lots of things. However, now that we're talking about NAFTA and not sports, we can say that NAFTA is the zenith of trials and tribulations of magnanimous proportions, which could send you into an enormous high of great accomplishment, or throw you into a dungeon of self-pity, despair and lost of hope. Well, personally, as long i pass im happy, but there are others who set much higher standards for themselves that they really fight to get that A.

The people that say: "Hey, I want an A in .....", and they exercise and work and sweat to get the well-deserved A. Depending completely on their own willpower without troubling others to push them forward when they are about to give up. These people have earned whatever respect they've gained. However, sadness is among those who say: Hey, Iwant an A in.....", but they sit on the couch eating potato chips and playing video games while their parents are constantly nagging them to get off their lazy butt cheeks and start burning some calories. These people have fat drooping over their elbow which is disgusting beyond human description, but if we could explain it, it would like this: inhumanly morbid, grotesque, gastly, and a sight which could make a kangaroo vomit. I mean, that's SICK! Who could have a layer of fat being pulled by gravity so much that it droops over theor elbow?? Ugh.

Anyway, sports day is tomorrow, my muscles ache lots after the test. This sucks.

YESS!! A CHATBOX!!

2007-04-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

Specially taken from the same website my brother took it from, I have managed to put my enitre life's hard work and dedication to put fourth what you see before your very eyes. A tagboard! Behold in its wonderous glory and blinding majesty, this rich combination of words and data processed into a vibrant colourful tapestry of information which in itself is a sight that could humble even the most proud of individuals!

One might suggest this thoughtful and inspirational erm..suggestion: "When is he going to stop talking like that?!" Truth be told, I really dont know. Maybe when i'm convinced i've already written to much and have so much to talk about to actually start summarising past events and happenings....but, when is THAT ever going to happen?

Anyway, lets talk about something else. Like um...Disney channel! Yeah disney is really starting to embarress me and my brother. For those of you who actually watch disney, you would know a certain show called: the emperors new school.

Now, this show seemed fun in the beginning with a whole new style of comedy that is completely different than the usual stuff we get each and every day of our lives when we are actually not dreaming. However, the moment it hit a certain episode, it went too far.

There was this 1 episode that kuzco (main character) had to write about his best friend, but he thought that he had no friends (loner) so he made up a clone of himself which ended up stealing his real friends and then this is the part that killed itself: he did this "kuzco mambo" which was a totally meaningless song about how great a friend he was and whenever his face flashed across the screen there would be an annoying voice yelling "kuzco!". For everyone's information and for the sake of maintaining my reputation i am to a small extent proud to say that I switched the channel before he finished the first verse. I personally felt that the episode was an elaborate and carefully thought-out waste of time that could have only come from the greatest mastermind in the art of comedy.

Which brings us to this: isnt dreaming the best thing that we could ever do? It gives a feeling of peace, the dream itself has a meaningful storyline in our view and although we may not remember whatever great adventure we had gone through, we know for sure that the experience was delightful. Much better than watching "kuzco mambo".

I have "issues"

2007-04-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

No, I am not emo or over-sensitive or unstable. However, shortly after making this blog, I already have some problems in getting it really started. I feel kinda stupid that I forgot all of my friends blog addresses, resulting in my blogs unhappy emptiness, lost in a pool of depression and loneliness that no form of living tissue should even imagine going through. This cesspool of imprisoned maddness causing me to blurt out nonsence at an alarming rate

That's not the only problem. I also have no tagboard or shoutbox or any form of short-end communication, by now you could be thinking "oh no he's gonna start another over meaningless combination of words that cause nothing but confusion". Well. Your right.

How can I satisfy my need to express my individuality without the convenience or rathar nessesity of a tagboard? This buildup of energy and emotion contained, restricted, in the body of a growing adolecent, turning into a constant rage and dissatisfaction flowing from the depths of the inside onto the body, forming a spell of frustration and anguish over the mind. All this, for the lack of a shoutboard.

Well...that's all for now. I feel much better. Now, where can i find a tagboard....

nothing but nothing

2007-04-03T03:59:00.000-07:00

Sooo here I am with my second blog after having my first one go down in flames due to the lack of maintenence for hmmm... 3 1/2 years. Since this is the start of this blogs great history, it will have to start small, thus you see the current blog layout. However, should I have a sudden rush of laziness you will see this blog layout for as long another 4 years, who knows.

Well. You might be wondering, "what could possibly perusade isaac to actually start writing things that he does'nt have to?" The answer?

No 1: he was bored
No 2: someone had actually asked him to
No 3: he got sian of dota
No 4: he suddenly felt like writing

Great! So there you have it, my first post for the blog! enjoy whatever comes next or isaac wont feel very happy..and to show you just how serious he is heres a picture of his strongest belief